Shopping Cart
Cart: $ 0.00
Home » Sugar Free Candy » Albanese Confectionery Sugar Free Gummy Bears, 2 Pound
sfree
$ 12.15
Albanese Confectionery Sugar Free Gummy Bears, 2 Pound

Albanese Confectionery Sugar Free Gummy Bears, 2 Pound


Reg. Price $ 12.15
Price: $ 12.15
* Limited time Discount, Buy it now!
You Save $ 0,00 ( 0,00% )

"We Found Cheapest Price on Albanese Confectionery Sugar Free Gummy Bears, 2 Pound from amazon.com. Fast and Free Shipping. Before you buy don't forget to compare price on amazon.com again. Add to Cart Today while Stock Last to Avoid Disappointment!"

Albanese Confectionery Sugar Free Gummy Bears, 2 Pound

Albanese Confectionery Sugar Free Gummy Bears, 2 Pound
  • Sugar Free Gummy Bears, 2LBS
  Price: $ 12.15

What customers say about Albanese Confectionery Sugar Free Gummy Bears, 2 Pound?

  1. 174 of 186 people found the following review helpful
    5.0 out of 5 stars
    A Song of Fire and Arse, September 6, 2016
    By 
    M. A. White (Evansville, In) –
    (REAL NAME)
      

    Verified Purchase(What’s this?)
    What can I say about these devilishly delightful little bears that hasn’t already been said? These aren’t meant to be eaten – they’re meant to be experienced. I received these only a few days after ordering, and after reading all of these reviews, I had to mentally (and physically) prepare myself for what may happen. My stomach processes things different, so I had no idea if I was going to be preparing a consequence-free gummy bear gorge fest or if I was going to be committing the equivalent of a sugar-free seppuku. I was just going to see where the night took me…

    I ate a handful of five at a time, spread out over a three hour period. For being sugar free, these were bloody delicious! Still, I was anticipating the worst. Oh, and how the worst met all of my expectations. For a bit, I figured the bears pulled a Gilligan and were just stranded somewhere inside my gullet, but oh, no…after the three hour tour ended, my stomach let loose a roar that would’ve intimidated a tyrannosaurus. The worst part was, I actually fell asleep after about the 50th gummy bear, so imagine my pleasant surprise when a sharp pain in my stomach brought me from my pleasant land of slumber to the nightmarish Hell I was about to experience. I felt like I was about to give birth, and give birth I did.

    The first blast was the loudest. My upstairs neighbors complained about my violation of quiet hours; they thought I was blaring Louis Armstrong and scooting furniture. Jazz hands, everybody! My cat ran and hid; I haven’t seen her for days. I heard a rap upon my front door in response to the knock upon the rear: ancient Spartan warriors had heard the trumpet blast and had shown for battle. I noticed my Christian neighbors out on the lawn looking up at the sky, crossing themselves because they thought that the trump of the Lord had sounded for the rapture. I owe the United States Geological Survey an explanation as to the anomaly their instruments probably picked up from central Indiana. But, alas, the first arse blast was not the last; like Pringles, you know we couldn’t have just one and once you pop, the fun don’t stop. The first horn was followed by a resounding sphincteric symphony that quite literally filled the air. John Williams would’ve been proud.

    The dog of war continued to bark, but soon the chain would break and it was to be unleashed. I arose to head to the porcelain throne to give what felt was to be a most generous offering to the god of thunder buckets, and my stoic John Coffee-esque resolve turned into a Tazmanian Devilish whirlwind as my walk of shame turned into a sprint of panic. Some men calmly walk the brown mile – I raced down it, looking for that sure relief and release that a ride on old sparky would hopefully give.

    What ensued will forever be etched into the annals (yes, “annals”, you dirty bird) of history. A great many atrocities have occurred in the 20th century, but most pale in comparison to that which the gummy bears had wrought. The first wave to any outsider would’ve reminded one of a Judas Priest concert as I belted out a Rob Halford screech accompanied by the sound of a million guitars. What can only be compared to the violent sounds of never-ending barrage of artillery and gunfire our brave boys storming the beaches of Normandy heard as they answered the Call of Duty came from the bathroom. The collective noises and experiences of all the battles and wars that have been fought by man – the bloodshed, the violence, the gore, the deafening thundering of gunfire – was reenacted in a three minute span. I still have not the heart nor the strength to go back in there after the last time… So much was sacrificed. So much was lost…

    I prayed to every god I could think of as I rode the lightning; I looked everywhere for salvation. I looked outward and thought to myself what horrible things I was doing to my fellow man. I then looked within and what the gummies left for me to find within was horrifying… I still cannot speak of it to this day.

    The Great God of the Porcelain Pot was pleased, as I humbly beseeched him and brought many offerings that night. I begged his mercy, but only after about six hours did I gain favor enough to leave the throne room and return to my peaceful slumber. After eating these gummy bears, I feel like a new man. Literally – I expelled what felt like almost all of my internal organs that night.

    And as I sit here eating the last half of the bag and reflect upon my experience, I smile because I know, very soon, I know I will hear that gurgle an—oh…well…going to have to cut this review short.

    Seriously, though. These are delicious, but if you eat more than a few of these, prepare yourself…

    Help other customers find the most helpful reviews 

    Was this review helpful to you? Yes
    No

  2. 138 of 150 people found the following review helpful
    5.0 out of 5 stars
    I was constipated. Now I’m not. Enough said …, March 7, 2015
    By 

    Verified Purchase(What’s this?)
    I was constipated . Now I’m not. Enough said. They fulfilled their purpose
    Help other customers find the most helpful reviews 

    Was this review helpful to you? Yes
    No

  3. 10 of 10 people found the following review helpful
    5.0 out of 5 stars
    Need a gag gift? This is it!, May 19, 2016
    By 
    Lauren (Collinsville, IL United States) –

    Verified Purchase(What’s this?)
    Believe the comments. These are nuclear but funny.
    Help other customers find the most helpful reviews 

    Was this review helpful to you? Yes
    No

Tags:

Random Product

OFF
23,92%
Kind Bar – Plus Nutrition Bar Almond & Cashew – 1.4 oz. Price $ 2.09
$ 1.59
You Save $0,50
OFF
28,02%
The Stress Remedy: Master Your Body’s Synergy and Optimize Your Health Price $ 24.95
$ 17.96
You Save $6,99